"That's It" is retarded, and other musings

My compatriot recently predicted the fate of all 6 MLB Divisions, along with the Wild Cards, to come up with a prediction for this year's World Series. Thankfully, more time has passed, and I can officially declare the Cubs dead before dealing with the remaining teams. I had planned on writing a retort considerably sooner than this, but with work and all, writing took a back seat. Yet without further adieu, here goes: AL West Texas Rangers. I think the Angels are a better team, and they may very well win the thing, but their pitching staff took a huge hit when Adenhart was killed. And now that they're 4 1/2 games back, I don't know if they have enough to overtake Texas' firepower. It could happen -- like I said, I think they're the better team -- but I don't see it. AL East New York Yankees. With apologies to Boston, who seem to have lost David Ortiz to the H1N1 virus, and also can't seem to find a SS that knows what a baseball even is, the Yanks have the offensive firepower to get them into the postseason as the AL's #1 seed. Not to worry, however; their core is still averaging 35 years of age, so they won't do much once in the postseason. It isn't like C.C. knows how to pitch after August anyways. AL Central Can I go with "Who Cares?" No? Ok, then Detroit. I seem to remember that last year at some point in time, Detroit was supposed to score ~1000 runs, have starters with sub 3.00 ERA all across the board, and the Tigers were to run the table with their eyes closed. What happened to that squad? Other than losing limbs to their entire pitching staff and having every single one of their bats run cold for an entire season? My guess is a chemistry problem. Regardless, I don't see how Detroit can go from choking bitch to World Series threat in one year. Detroit is the pick here, but they lose to the Yanks in round 1. AL Wild Card Boston. Too much pitching, too much chemistry, just enough bats, and smart players throughout. They may pull it off to win the division, but even if they don't, they make the playoffs. NL West L.A. Dodgers. This may be the only team that could compete in the A.L. East and not lose 100 games -- but it's the only NL winner that has that right. The Dodgers have good, young pitching, and plenty of bats (especially when Manny comes back). NL East N.Y. Mets. If this team can stay near .500 while they figure out how to put their band-aid'd team back together, they have the chance to go on a run. Philly's ace is hurt, their 2nd best pitcher is gone for the season, and Ibanez can't possible continue to out-hit Ryan Howard. Point is, they can't maintain this, and the Mets can't continue to be this hurt. NL Central I'm picking the Cubs here. Granted, they are floundering right now, but D-Lee can't play this badly much longer, Soto can't play that badly much longer, Soriano is playing well (again), and Ramirez should be back any day. If Bradley ever bothers to shut up and hit the ball, this offense could be scary. I'll throw some kudos to the Cardinals for outplaying their ability for this long, but their charade must stop at some point, the Brewers don't have enough arms to make it serious, and the Reds are about a year away. So Cubs it is. NL Wild Card Philly. Everything I said above about the Mets could never happen, and those two teams could switch places. Either way, both teams are making the postseason. AL Winner Boston. This team has enough in its stable to make a big trade, and I see them buying another bat to put in their lineup, and that will be enough, along with their pitching, to put them back in the Series. NL Winner L.A. Dodgers. They have everything, and they should roll to a World Series bid. World Series Champ Boston. The Dodgers are good, and Manny will bat ~.600 for the series, but ultimately, they are just a half-step short of Boston in every category. They may make a series of it, but ultimately, Boston's talent level wins out.