Fast Food

I recently took a one-day road trip with a good friend. We set out early and were promptly pulled over by a highway patrolman. Luckily, we were pulled over in a construction zone so the fine got bumped up. Somebody’s got to pay for this stimulus stuff. As soon as we pulled out of the driveway, my compadre started in about a particular fast food joint he felt we would need to stop at on the way there. We decided to wait until we got out into BFE to stop. After all, this particular restaurant is ubiquitous. After being on the road for a few hours, we find one in a decent area near a truck stop. I use the term “decent” in the loosest of senses. Anyways, we stroll in, and the joint is packed – with employees. You know the type: disheveled, nearly toothless, looking like they’ve been on a lifelong bender. And that’s it. No one else is in the place. Well, there was some lady in there, but she was driving a Smart Fortwo with Canadian plates so with that double whammy, she gets left out of the fast food chain census. I’m getting hungry. Before we order up, I decide to wash up. To my surprise, there’s a gentleman in front of the bathroom (What, these things get cleaned?), and he is gathering 10 to 15 mini cardboard boxes up. He keeps trying to pick them up, and he keeps dropping them. I think to myself, “Why?” Why the boxes? Why right here? He makes several guttural sounds and grunts something. I can only nod. I assume he went back into the kitchen and immediately placed his hands on some food. He was not cleaning. I’m getting hungrier still. By the way, have you ever been to a fast food joint where the employees are skating around in the kitchen? I’ve seen a few of these, and apparently, the floor is so slippery from grease, you have to either slide around or risk bodily injury. I wonder if there are non-slip fast food joint shoes out there to buy that neutralize the slippery floor, endorsed by Michael Jordan or somebody. I’m really hungry now. I’m so hungry after I come out I order a couple things off the dollar/value menu, and of course, my friend spends like $15 on their garbage. He gets like 3 biscuits, some burritos, and a gallon and a half of orange juice in a giant cup with a tiny bottom designed to fit in your classic ‘89 Geo Metro cupholder and next to your giant muffin top (and I’m not talking about food). I’m worried for him and for me. We eat. I am disgusted, and I love it. My friend rations his out over what seems like the next hour. Apparently, he is savoring every bite, putting salsa and spicy mustard on everything and doing the whole “hmmm” and licking the fingers bit. I feel sick for him. Our meal inevitably leads to later discussions about how awful we feel. But at this point none of the depth charges have exploded. I am thankful. The small size of my depth charges will hopefully lead to little or no collateral damage. My compadre, on the other hand, has a much more difficult road ahead. He is either okay or making Jamie Lee Curtis proud without having eaten even one spoonful of yogurt. I hope it is the latter rather than the form. Or should it be the other way around?

Money Buys Championships

The underlying premise of one of the previous post seems to be that a higher payroll will result in more championships or playoff appearances. I tend to think the same way. But, I wondered just how much you needed to spend so I took a look at the wildcard era and compared the teams that made the playoffs against their payroll rank, which are based on opening day rosters. So, for instance, a midseason trade for C.C. Sabathia would skew the numbers a bit and I didn’t take that into account.

In the wildcard era, the average payroll rank for World Series winners was 7.36. For League Championship winners, it was 8.44, and for Division Series winners, it was 9.02. Playoff teams had an average rank of 9.95. During the timeframe I looked at, only 13 teams ranked 20 or lower made the playoffs. But in recent years, it seems that more teams from the bottom half of the payroll rankings are making the playoffs.

So, to win a World Series, it looks like you’ll have to sit somewhere in the top 10 in payroll. The outliers are Philadelphia (12th), St. Louis (11th), the White Sox (13th), Florida (25th), and the Angels (15th). Yet, even 4 of those 5 are in the top 15. Looking at the numbers, it seems you’ll have better luck with a small payroll in the NL. But on average, NL teams don’t spend as much anyways. It also helps that some of the big spenders are concentrated in divisions like the AL and NL East. Thus, ISBJ’s beloved Royals might get lucky one year in the AL Central sitting somewhere towards the bottom in payroll.

For some reason all these years, I have been under the impression that the Braves and Angels won by spending less and getting the most out of the talent they found. In the 11 years the Braves went to the playoffs, their average payroll rank was 5 (Boston’s was 6). In the 5 appearances the Angels made, their average payroll rank was 6.4. The Athletics (5 playoff appearances, average rank of 25.20) and the Twins (4 playoff appearances, average rank of 20.75) get the most for the least.

Getting back to ISBJ’s post, the teams he listed probably will not win a World Series in the next century. But contrary to his assertions, the Royals did not make any deadline moves because they are pretty much talentless, their farm system is in disarray, and management continues to make terrible personnel moves. They stink, not because of their payroll, but because they stink. If they’re lucky, they’ll find their way to 100 losses.

Fun Facts No. 1

I'm not sure if it's the full time job, 3 kids, and professional fantasy sports career or the 4 Boulevards I have in me, but whatever the reason I can't think of anything clever or witty enough for this blog. So, I thought I'd just share any interesting trivia question for pondering that I heard at the local baseball card shop yesterday. Then either tomorrow or during my second wind between Boulevards 7 and 9 I'll post the answer. Who am I kidding, I can't afford nor handle 9 Boulevards.

Q: What are the only 2 days of the year when no major professional sports games take place (Baseball, Football, Basketball, or Hockey)?????

A: The day before and the day after the MLB All-Star Game.

Is this thing On?

I was happy to see there wasn't an out pour of negative comments by all of our fans about my guarantee that Roy Halladay would be traded. So this is just my afterthoughts on the trade deadline. Mostly I just have a lot of questions and observations. I though Roy Halladay getting traded would have made perfect sense. A team that is not contending should trade away veteran players for prospects in hope to contend in the future. It also makes sense to trade end of the year free agents who tell you up front that they won't sign with you for any reasonable amount of money. What doesn't make sense to me is how separated the level of competition is around the league. I saw Andrew McCutchen hit 3 home runs in a game shortly after the break and I envisioned him getting traded in 2 or 3 years at the deadline for prospects. I think we are headed down a road for the next 20 or 30 years where bad teams trade away all of there good players for prospects every 3 or 4 so that they can't make the fans believe they are still trying to win. When really what they are trying to do is make a profit. I understand that, but I like to see good competition. We wouldn't pay decent money to see the Yankees play a good minor league team, but yet day in and day out we pay decent money to see the Padres play the Phillies. What's the difference? It's like watching a 5A football team play a 1A football team. The Phillies pick the best players that $110 million can buy. The Padres put the best team on the field that $35 million can buy. Whose going to win time after time? Then we have to deal with the fact that the Kansas City Royals have to pay a guy like Gil Meche $55 million to come to KC. Small market teams are further handicapped because guys want the ultimate top dollar contract they can get to go somewhere that they know they are going to lose. I was proud that Kansas City didn't sell out like the Indians and Pirates, because they want to contend in the near future. But when Alex Gordon finally starts to pop off, Greinke becomes a free agent, and Billy Butler demands high dollar, are they really going to pay for all these people? No. They are going to let one or two of there top guys go for the big paycheck then when they realize they can't compete, they are going to trade the remaining guys for prospects... and the cycle continues. I don't think the owners should rake in all the benefits from a $95 million salary cap, but how about we keep ticket prices reasonable, impose the cap and see much better competition? We won't see this. There are plenty of MLB and owners publicist / commentators out there telling you why its bad for the league. But here's my next prediction... if we don't impose some sort of cap or maybe even take another root of a salary floor of $50 million, then the Padres, Royals, Mariners, Pirates, Brewers, Nationals, Indians, Twins, and even the Devil Rays, Marlins, and Rockies will not win a World Series this century. Obviously the Rays and Marlins have the best shot in the next few years, but once Jeff Nieman, Evan Longoria, David Price, Jason Bartlett, and Jorge Cantu start demanding their fair market value the Rays success will go out with a few of these players.