Lawyers vs. Car Salesmen: A Comparative Analysis

Car salesmen think pinstripes make a suit look expensive and generally wear excessive amounts of jewelry, including gold bracelets. Lawyers think pinstripes make them look like partners, sometimes wear excessive amounts of jewelry, and buy watches that are worth more than their suits so they can look at them constantly though they have no particular place to be. Car salesmen often have weird haircuts. Lawyers often have weird haircuts. Popular styles include comb-overs, toupees, frosted tips, femullets, man-perms, and dapper dan oil slicks. These are the kinds of guys who carry combs in their pockets. Car salesmen are notorious liars. Lawyers notoriously twist facts. Not much of a difference. Car salesmen overvalue the vehicle your buying, and in the appropriate case, do the same for your trade-in. Lawyers overvalue your case and try to convince you that it was the judge's fault when their strategies fail. Car salesmen try to convince you not to leave the dealership without making a deal. They're willing to say or do almost anything to keep you on the lot. Lawyers try to convince you not to disregard their asinine arguments. They're willing to put almost anything in a brief. Most car salesmen are borderline arrogant. Lawyers are. No borderlines. More often than not, arrogance is part of the car salesmen's hustle. You won't buy anything from him unless he can convince you he's giving you the greatest deal ever and knows just about everything there is to know about the car. Lawyers are arrogant because they think a post-graduate degree clearly means they are more intelligent than the next individual. Most everyone dreads buying a car because they'll have to deal with the salesmen. Everyone hates having to deal with a lawyer. It doesn't matter what the circumstances are. The above brings to mind the line from an old country song: "Momma's don't let your babies grow up to be [insert lawyers, car salesmen, or cowboys]."